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who made these quotes? they are all smushed together but i thnk u can tell the difference, u kno wat im sayin

March 27th, 2009
kirby asked:


If you don’t know where you’re going, chances are you will end up somewhere else.
I really didn’t say everything I said.

If you ask me a question I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.

It ain’t the heat; it’s the humility.

It’s deja-vu all over again.

You should always go to other people’s funerals. Otherwise they won’t come to yours.

The only reason I need these gloves is ’cause of my hands.

You can’t think and hit at the same time.

If the world were perfect, it wouldn’t be.

If I didn’t wake up, I’d still be sleeping.

The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.

I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.

If you can’t imitate him, don’t copy him.

Never answer an anonymous letter.

90% of the game is half mental.

It’s never happened in the World Series history - and it hasn’t happened since.

I’m as red as a sheet.

It’s not too far, it just seems like it is.

If you don’t set goals, you can’t regret not reaching them.

Slump? I ain’t in no slump. I just ain’t hitting.

We were overwhelming underdogs.

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.

Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.

You mean now? (When asked for the time.)

We have a good time together, even when we’re not together.

Little League baseball is a good thing because it keeps the parents off the streets and the kids out of the house.

The future ain’t what it used to be.

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

Pair up in threes.

Don’t get me right, I’m just asking.

I wish I had an answer to that, because I’m tired of answering that question.

You give 100 percent in the first half of the game, and if that isn’t enough in the second half you give what’s left.

90% of short putts don’t go in.

We made too many wrong mistakes.

Thanks, you don’t look so hot yourself. (After being told he looked cool.)

We’re lost, but we’re making great time!

If people don’t want to come to the ball park, how are you going to stop them?

How long have you known me, Jack? And you still don’t know how to spell my name. (Upon receiving a check from Jack Buck made out to “Bearer”.)

I’d say he’s done more than that. (When asked if first baseman Don Mattingly had exceeded expectations for the current season.)

He can run anytime he wants. I’m giving him the red light. (On the acquisition of Rickey Henderson.)

I knew exactly where it was, I just couldn’t find it.

If you don’t know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else.

You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.

The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces. I’m not hungry enough to eat eight.

I don’t know, I’m not in shape yet. (When asked what size cap he wanted.)

I want to thank you for making this day necessary. (On Yogi Berra Appreciation Day in 1947.)

I don’t remember leaving, so I guess we didn’t go.

I’d find the fellow who lost it, and, if he was poor, I’d return it. (When asked what he would do if he found a million dollars.)

I usually take a two hour nap, from one to four.

Steve McQueen looks good in this movie. He must have made it before he died.

It gets late early out there. (Referring to the sun conditions in left field at the stadium.)

It was hard to have a conversation with anyone - there were too many people talking.

I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.

Texas has a lot of electrical votes. (During an election campaign - after George Bush stated that Texas was important to the election.)

You can observe a lot just by watching.

No, you didn’t wake me up. I had to get up to answer the phone anyway.

I really liked it. Even the music was good. (When asked if he liked the opera one evening.)

Why buy good luggage? You only use it when you travel.

Shut up and talk.

Once, Yogi’s wife Carmen asked, “Yogi, you are from St. Louis, we live in New Jersey, and you played ball in New York. If you go before I do, where would you like me to have you buried?” To this, Yogi replied, “Surprise me.”

Carmen said “I took Tim to see Doctor Zhivago today.” Yogi replied, “What the hell’s wrong with him now?”

Phyllis

Jokes & Riddles , ,

Lol list of apparently real headlines?

February 18th, 2009
whydoesitcrysmeagol asked:


Lingerie Shipment Hijacked–Thief Gives Police The Slip

L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide

Patient At Death’s Door–Doctors Pull Him Through

Latin Course To Be Canceled–No Interest Among Students, Et Al.

Diaper Market Bottoms Out

Croupiers On Strike–Management: &quotNo Big Deal”

Stadium Air Conditioning Fails–Fans Protest

Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

Henshaw Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters

Women’s Movement Called More Broad-Based

Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Fund Set Up for Beating Victim’s

Kin Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man

Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy

Autos Killing 110 a Day–Let’s Resolve to Do Better

20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar

War Dims Hope For Peace

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last
A Wild Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation

Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn’t Seen in Years

William

Jokes & Riddles , ,

haha newspaper headlines not thought out very well,check out the last one lol?

January 8th, 2009
Jonsey asked:


Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

Eye Drops Off Shelf

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Deer Kill 17,000

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Dealers Will Hear Car Talk at Noon

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy

Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire

British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing

Air Head Fired

Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni

Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One

Man Steals Clock, Faces Time

Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped

Never Withhold Herpes from Loved One

Smokers Are Productive, But Death Cuts Efficiency

Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung

Child’s Stool Great for Use in Garden

Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy

Man is Fatally Slain

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Autos Killing 110 a Day, Let’s Resolve to do Better

Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

Joy

Jokes & Riddles , ,