Goal Setting Kids

Suzie McDermott asked:


Goal setting for Children is never easy. How do we help our kids set appropriate goals? Motivate them to achieve these goals and act as their mentor to guide them when the going gets tough.

Following the four easy steps below will make goal setting for your children a whole lot easier

1)Define the goal. Without a clear vision of what it is that you want to achieve its easy and likely that you will get side tracked. Write down what it is that you want to achieve. If your kids are too small write it down for them, if they are bigger it’s a great practice to get into. Writing it down helps to clarify want it is you want to achieve and keeps you on track.

Having a written copy of our goals helps us to remain focused on the job. This is a skill that our children need to learn and master if they are to accomplish their goals. The clearer we are on our goals the easier they become to achieve. The clarity of our goals makes it easier to spot what we need to help us to achieve our goals. It also helps our children to filter out all the background noise that is constantly around us these days.

2)Know your Why behind the goal. Knowing why you want to achieve your goal is often overlooked in goat setting. Yet it is critical in stopping you and your kids from giving up. This is how you develop passion in your kids to achieve something.

It is also an important and very useful tool to refer back to when you need to motivate your children to overcome obstacles or when they lose interest to keep going and finish the project.

3)Be your kids mentor and not the doer of the goal. In others do not take over or do the task for your kids. It’s your job to guide your kids, motivate them and build up their confidence. It’s not your job to do it for your kids. This only deflates their confidence and motivation. Taking over, will also deny your kids of the satisfaction of achieving something that is important to them.

As a mentor we need to be able to help our children set realistic goals that they are capable of achieving, know what their limitations are and how to best help them achieve it.

4)Kids need realistic and positive feedback on their performance. We all need to know we have done a good job and our kids are no different. In fact our kids need to be continually reassured that they have done well. Descriptive yet positive feedback works best. Our kids need us to give them realistic feedback so they can learn to honestly assess their abilities. This in turn is a key step in helping them to develop into independent and confident adults.

5)Make it fun. I can’t stress this point enough. Our kids are easily bored and tune off if they find something boring. Let them learn from their mistakes without criticism and always focus on the positive. Remember the journey is just as important as the end result.



Zack

Suzie McDermott asked:


Goal setting for kids is all about making sure your kids have fun. When kids have fun they actively seek out the experience again and again. We have all heard it a thousand times before - “just one more time, please mommy/daddy!!” This is the catch phase of kids who are having fun.

When children are bored they tune off, fidget about and drift off into their own little fantasy world that is filled with adventure and fun. Follow the five steps mentioned below and your kids will be too wrapped up in achieving their real adventures to go into the world of fantasy.

1) Let them learn from their mistakes without criticism. Criticism deflates fun, while support understanding and encouragement help to support a fun learning environment. It is from our mistakes that our greatest learning comes from. By viewing our mistakes as something to learn from instead of something that requires punishment is one the biggest advantages we can give our kids in life.

It teaches them that mistakes are a very normal part of learning and achieving our goals. This in turn will help them to actively pursue their goals as they grow up without fearing mistakes. Instead they will have the confidence to overcome many of the obstacles that life will throw at them.

2) Always focus on the positive. When our kids make a mistake focus on what the mistake has taught them. Use it as a positive. When they become disheartened point out what they have done that is good. And remember acknowledging that something is hard is also focusing on the positive. It lets your kids know that it’s normal for almost everything to be hard and awkward at first.

3) Join in on their excitement and enthusiasm for the project. This is a sure fire way to heighten the experience for our kids and double the fun. If you are genuinely excited and happy to be joining them (but not taking over) in their quest they will feel empowered. And as a side effect you will feel a greater connection to your kids.

4) Remember the journey is just as important as the end result. Although it’s important to know the end result when goal setting for children it’s not the only important component. See the journey as a series of mini goals that are needed to achieve the end result.

Reward you children for achieving each mini goal with plenty of praise and encouragement for what they have achieved so far. After all goal setting for our children should be just as much about creating happy lasting memories for our kids and ourselves as it is about reaching the finish line.

5) Tackle your mentoring role as an adventure not as a chore. Take the attitude of the explorer and adventurer and you will begin to find ways to make the whole experience of goal setting fun and exciting for your kids. This attitude will also help you to see the whole experience from your kids’ point of view. You will be amazed at how big of a difference a small change in perception can make to your whole outlook. And your kids will thank you for it with plenty of excitement and determination to get the job done.



Gordon

Chris Lowrey asked:


For the majority of us, our New Year’s Resolution has now come and gone. Maybe our promises were too big for us, maybe they were not affordable, maybe we needed help from others and they just didn’t cooperate, whatever the reason, all hope is not lost.

Most of us talk to our children about their future. The majority of our conversations regarding their desired future require goal setting skills. How can our children set and achieve their goals when we aren’t setting the example? Instead of taking the risk that they will learn our bad habits, make a plan of action that involves practicing what we preach.

Pick a consistent day and time of the week for goal setting. For example, when the family is gathered together for dinner on Sunday, make a routine of discussing the goal for the next week. It can be as simple as scrubbing out the dog dishes, shaking and washing all of the rugs in the house, writing a distant relative a letter, etc. If the goal is complicated and lengthy, break the plan of action into smaller segments and discuss the accomplishments while planning the next stage.

Remember though, all goals do not need to be labor intensive. Some goals can be for pure pleasure. I remember when my children were very young; I wanted them to enjoy classic books. Several nights a week we put pillows on the floor, made popcorn and read together. These are valuable memories I still hold dear.

Whatever your goals are, short term, long term, work oriented, time sensitive or for enjoyment as a family, set the goal. Discuss the plan of action to accomplish the goal. The results will be more than worth the effort!



Lee

Reality * His Third Account asked:


So many parents SAY they do, but they don’t act like it. For example, they don’t make sure that their kids read during the summer, or work on their academic weaknesses.

So many parents won’t even discuss the prospect of college for their child. I think the goal of college has to be set in a child’s head starting at a young age.

Do you have educational goals, and do you set aside time when school is not in session for educational activities for your child?

David

Loving life asked:


Why would you have unprotected *** with just anybody, let them impregnate you, not marry you, and be okay with it? Why are most “baby mamas” ok being called that? And why do most of them seem to be slow, have low income, uneducated, and have no goals? Do they ever think about the kind of example they’re supposed to be setting for their children?
Maybe my question should pertain to guys, but a lot of them are just plain stupid. Females should know better and be smarter. And anyways, all of this wouldn’t be if the girls acted like they had some pride and weren’t so ******.
charlacu or whoever it doesn’t matter what type of home you come from. There are people from all kinds of families, who have been in bad situations, who make better decisions that these stupid tram–. Stop trying to make excuses for someone who would have no excuse to get in this situation. Maybe you’re offended b/c you’re one of those loose stupid girls.
crazy dumb farie go call your damn mother stupid

Emilio

Mommy of Twins asked:


He is deeply involved in high school ROTC and attends all his events and competitions. He plans on attending college and has his goals set. He’s an A and B student and just an all around great normal teenager! He’s applied at a local grocery store for a part time job, as he says he wants to earn money so that he doesn’t need to ask us for it.
My husband thinks our son doesn’t need to work right now. He says that it is our job to support him financially and in every which way, until we both feel he’s ready to work. I’m confused. what do you think?
4 hours ago
Additional Details
2 minutes ago

Ok, so my husband says that ‘I side with my son’ everytime, and that I never say no to him. I love my son dearly, and yes I admit that I’m a bit too lenient at times, but to me he’s a good son and I just don’t think I should always say no if I feel I should say yes! Yes, he gets reprimanded if he lies or doesn’t do homework or chores. I’ll take his cell phone away, or his PSP. But what teenager doesn’t do those things from time to time? He could’ve taken the wrong path a long time ago, but he chooses not to. I also have a 12 year old daughter, and 1 year old twins. So I’m a busy mom. But I would do anything for my kids. I will add that he is not my husband’s biological son, not that it should make a difference.
Sorry for the repost, but i’m new to this. I did add some information though, and went ahead and just reposted the entire thing because I previously hit ‘resolved’ and couldn’t add.
Thank you.

Harold

bardcrest asked:


Okay so you have your son or daughter clinging to the edge of the pool. You walk a bit of the ways into the pool and you tell them to swim to you. As soon as they let go of the pool edge, you start backing up making it harder and harder for your child to reach you. I have come to two conclusions:
1. You like giving your child a sensation that they are drowning while accomplishing nothing towards their goal.
2. You think that they won’t notice the fact that you are making it harder and harder to accomplish the goal you set for them.

So which is it? Or is there some factor that makes up for the emotional scarring you are doing to a young child?
I mean what is the difference between a parent doing that and a schoolyard bully grabbing someone’s glasses and holding them above the person’s head just out of reach? In both cases you are taunting the other person that they will always be so close to accomplish the goal but never quite make it.
No I am not dumb. As for the distance motivating a child to learn to swim, I will concede that there is some logic in that. About as much as choking someone motivates them to learn to fight better.
This is sort of like someone asking me how much a piece of candy is and everytime they give me the amount that I ask for, stating that the candy costs more.

I am not a parent but I have taught a child to swim without the aid of floatees. I stooded in one place and had her swim out to me. Each time I would do it I would get a little farther away. I did not try to convince her that she only needed to go a short distance when she would end up going a longer distance.

No I do not think anyone is going to let a child drown. But the child does not know that. All they know is that they are barely staying afloat in the water and try as they must their teacher or guardian never seems to get any closer.

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As for whether a parent would laugh at failure. Well yeah my mother found it rather amusing when I finally caught on and refused to swim towards her if she moved.

Jamie