Goal Setting Kids

Kim Olver asked:


I am sure that many of you are deep into the drama and excitement of the holiday season. There is so much to be done and so much to think about and consider that many can hardly think of anything else. However, when the excitement is over, our attention typically turns the closing of one year and the beginning of a new one.

This is a time typically reserved for reflection. We think back on the previous year, sometimes with a strong sense of accomplishment and sometimes with regrets for the things we didn’t do that we wanted to and the goals we set but didn’t accomplish. Sometimes we get so disgusted with ourselves for our lack of goal-directed behavior that we actually stop setting goals altogether.

Sometimes we are waiting for something to happen first. We wait to retire, for our children to leave home, or for there to be enough money in the savings account. While we are waiting, time is whizzing past us at an alarming rate. Before we know it, we end up at a place where we say, “Now I’m too old to do ________________ .” While we are waiting for certain life events to manifest, there are things we can still do to move ourselves forward toward our goals. Waiting is not the only option.

There are known techniques that will help you improve the odds of accomplishing your goals. What’s the difference between those who seem to breeze through their day accomplishing everything they set out to do and those who seem to wonder where the time went at the end of the day. We all have the same amount of time each day. What’s the secret?

First of all, you need to decide what it is you want to accomplish—the more specific you can be the better. We generally do not get too excited about the vague thought of losing weight but if we can say instead, I will lose 10 pounds by March 1, 2006 so I can fit back into a size 10 dress then there is more energy and impetus around that particular goal.

Next, you must decide, as Napoleon Hill says, “Do you have a burning desire to accomplish this goal?” Without truly possessing a burning desire, without passion to make it happen, we will often drift back into old behaviors that keep us plateaued at the same place we were the beginning of last year.

Once you’ve determined you have the burning desire, next you must ask if you have a good plan. Does your plan have a reasonable chance for success? Do you have deadlines for accomplishment? When you are trying to stop a certain behavior, do you spell out what you are going to do instead? Are the goals realistic? Are they measurable? Do you have the determination and unwavering resolve to follow through on your plan?

Sometimes there are things that sabotage our efforts. Typically, the things we do throughout our day are things that meet our needs. If we are trying to lose weight but continue to eat instead, we need to look at what benefits we gain from overeating. Often these are unconscious benefits that we really need to do some serious scrutiny to uncover. If the benefits we receive from our current behavior outweigh the benefits of making the change we desire, we will have a difficult time making the change without building in additional features to our plan that will make up for the benefits of the behavior we are giving up.

You need to develop systems to track and measure your progress. Many people require a visual representation of their progress to provide incentive to continue moving forward. You must develop a single-minded focus. You must avoid anything that threatens to pull you off your straight ahead direction toward your goals. You must prioritize and protect your time everyday.

The final thing that will be instrumental in achieving your goals in 2006 is to reprogram your nonconscious mind. There is a great deal of evidence that shows the neural programming of our nonconscious mind often gets in the way of us accomplishing our goals. These are the early messages that we picked up from those who were close to us when we were younger. We received messages that money was the root of all evil, that we didn’t deserve to be loved, that we were chubby and will stay that way, and that there is never enough time in a day. All those messages have formed neural pathways in our brain.

This means that when certain neurons fire, they trigger the firing of other neurons in the same pathway, which makes it extremely difficult to consciously change our behavior. The good news is that there is a way to reprogram the neural pathways so they will work for us instead of against us to accomplish our goals.

Through the processes of affirmations and visualization we have the ability to change this nonconscious programming. We must develop a mental movie of what life will look like once our goals are accomplished. Then, we must write out present tense affirmations of the belief systems we must have in place in order to accomplish our goals. If weight loss is your goal, for example, then your affirmations would sound like this: “I weigh 130 pounds and look and feel terrific. I eat only healthy food that nourishes my body. I enjoy exercising and the way my body feels while doing it and afterwards. I drink at least eight 8-oz. glasses of water each day.”

Reprogramming requires repetition of the affirmations and visualization daily and more often if you can make the time. With this added to all of the above goal setting steps, you will be well on your way to accomplishing your goals in 2006.



Tommy

Sudath Priyantha asked:


Are you lacking confidence in your self to deal with day to day situations or problems presented by life?

Is your life just drifting along with no goal or aim whatsoever? Are you frustrated that life is not turning out as you have planned?

If so, you are not alone, there are countless people, including you and me who feel this way at some time or another in our lives. What you are lacking is the personal power that is needed to live life on your terms and not on the terms on your boss or neighbor or some one else for that matter.

There are heaps and heaps of books, articles and programs written on the subject Personal Development for Smart People, but how many of them are effective is actually a question.

If you are to develop any sort of Personal Power, the first thing and most effective thing you must do is to Accept Yourself as you are, with all your faults, problems and whatever. You must start to love yourself unconditionally. No matter what mistakes you made in the past, you should be able to forgive yourself and anyone involved in these mistakes or problems. You should first heal your past emotional hurts, for whatever Personal Development technique to be effective.

There are several energy healing techniques that would help you to clear the past hurts or limiting beliefs. You can chose that you feel will be most suitable to you. I recommend Emotional Freedom Technique or EFT to this end.

We are talking about Personal Development for Smart People, hence it is my duty to introduce a much more effective and easy method that would help smart people to develop without any hard work on their part.

Personal Development is much effective and effortless when your mind is quiet and calm. When your mind is calm and quiet, you live in the Present Moment and your mind is not limited by past limiting beliefs or hurts. In this state you can access your true potential effortlessly and is guided by your intuition or inner guidance. This is the state of mind that you should achieve in order to effectively develop your true potential.

Brainev is the latest Personal Development program, sweeping the earth today. What differs from similar products here is the Latest Patent Pending Technology known as 3P-DEAP, which makes Brainev the Most Powerful Personal Development Product for Smart People on earth today, as claimed by the developers.



Margaret

Jacob Curties asked:


1. Why Personality Development?

Understanding oneself and finding what actually he is, is what makes him feel good about himself. In the present generation, the thoughts given to this aspect are very less because the time is best used for the jobs, works and deeds. We tend to be systematic with our lives however in the long run it changes its phase and takes the form of being mechanical. The difference between being systematic and mechanical is, the life is lived to the fullest that makes one feel better in the former whereas in the later, life becomes survival rather than living it.

2. “When does Personality Development come into picture?”

Conceptions:

-          Need to build personality that is convincing to the people around us or for oneself.

-          Need to improve our abilities irrespective of our capabilities.

Personality development is not the outcome, it’s the thought process given to introspect oneself. The above given conceptions are exactly the same as what I termed them. They are just misconceptions. Personality development is not to convince people around us and there is no need to do that. The reason being, everyone is unique and convincing others becomes diluting ones own identity. Personality development never ever improves one’s abilities, but helps one to achieve their capabilities with no compromises. There are other factors that would help to work on our abilities (which are not focused in this article) but not Personality development.

3. “What does Personality Development do to the picture?”

The term “Personality Development” defines what one is. It doesn’t create meaning but defines one. Personality Development has a chain of hidden processes going through a person. The whole picture is to make one happy of what he is and that in turn makes him confident. The confident people are not the most successful but the only successful. Further, the successful people are the most admired because in the process of being successful they gather all the qualities that can influence people around them. So, this is the reason why it’s not an outcome but the process given to introspect oneself.

 

“Personality Development brings the magnetism to the character of a person.”



Sally

Suzanne Bird-Harris asked:


I’m sure you, like me, are bombarded with emails, conversations and thoughts about goal setting, particularly each new year. If I had a nickel for each email I’ve received since Jan 1st that talked about goal setting, I’d be a rich woman! Yet, have I set my goals down on paper yet? No, I haven’t. Until this week, I have been diligently trying to avoid the whole topic, no doubt because I have had limited success with achieving any goals I’d actually written down in years past.

Then recently, some information came my way that just made so much sense. It’s not new information, that’s for sure, but I guess my mind was just finally open to it and it sunk in. I FINALLY understand why having a “why” visibly attached to your goals is so important. And even more importantly, why your “why” must be in front of you at all times.

Here’s what I learned: the reason so many people fail to achieve the goals they set for themselves is they focus too much on the process of achieving those goals, rather than their “why” for the goal itself.

For example, the #1 goal set each Jan. 1st is to lose weight. So many people seriously set this as a goal for themselves as each new year begins, yet so many never realize their goal. Why? Because they focus on the process of achieving that goal, rather than why they have the goal in the first place.

The process of losing weight is not all that glamorous, to be sure. You have to change your routines, get moving, be consistent, and be patient as you work through the process. If you decide you are going to walk briskly for 30 minutes each weekday, what happens the first day it rains?

If you are focusing on the process, your thoughts will likely sound something like, “No, I’d really rather not get soaking wet today, thank you very much.”

But if you are focused on your goal of having more energy and being able to keep up with your kids or grandkids, then you’ll likely be thinking, “Ok, where can I take my walk that I won’t risk pneumonia in the process?”

I have resolved to only write down goals for which I have a strong “why”. I encourage you to do the same. Forget what everyone else’s goals are. Forget what everyone else says you should be able to accomplish. What do YOU want to accomplish, and why?

WHY?

When you figure that out, then make life easier on yourself and keep those “whys” in clear view. Focus on how you’ll feel when you achieve the goal - live it NOW.

Monitor how you talk about the goal.

Concentrate on the positives of your “why”, not the negatives of the process.

Tell someone else about your goal, so you have someone to go to later and say, “Please…remind me why I’m doing this again?” It can make all the difference in the world…in your world.



Francis

Joseph Then asked:


Just how many of us really set realistic goals in our life? Goal setting is a good idea for any person. They could cut out being so disorganized in their life. When any one sets daily goals they quickly realize that their day would run smoothly and not have as many mishaps that makes you have a lot of stress from something not going just right and running out of time try to get it done.

When some set goals in their life it might not be because they want to it may just be because they have to, so they do not have lots of chaos in their life. This group of people may even need to write down when they are to arrive at the grocery store to do the shopping and even how long it is to take in the store. Some people just need that organization in their life to live freely and peacefully.

When you set goals for the day and have them out for everyone too see them you will notice that if you have kids they will soon start to fallow them, with a little help. After a while you would end up noticing that the kids have set their own goals that they would like to achieve in their daily life.

One example is that they set the time to get up, brush their teeth, get a bath for bed, and even go to bed. That does not include the time at school and any other chores or tasks that they would want to put in there on their own.

Really every one needs to set a life goal and work hard to achieve the goals that you set for yourself or your family.

One thing that you need to think about when you set the goals in your life is that you need to make sure that you do not set goals that are completely out of reach and are too hard for you to accomplish. Some of the goals that an adult could set for himself or herself are better schooling, better position in the work force, or even working toward a promotion.



Cecil

Sonia Harris asked:


Are you totally happy with your life? It wouldn’t surprise me if your initial response was to ask the question “Is anyone totally happy with their life?” Fair comment. So let me rephrase the question. “Is there any area of your life right now that you are not happy with?” Is that a better question?

You may be one of the fortunate ones who can say they are happy in every area of their life. However, I bet you are like most people in our society, who are probably unhappy with one or more areas of their lives. If that is the case, let me talk to you about personal development.

Before I move on it may be useful to offer a definition of personal development. I decided to do some research on the internet and Google the term personal development. I was surprised to find that there were not really that many sites that offered a definition, although there were many adverts promoting personal development. I shouldn’t be surprised because Marketdata a research firm has estimated that the personal development industry is set to grow at a rate of 11.4 yearly through to 2010, to a value of $13.9 billion.

“Personal development is the deliberate growth or development of a particular individual to bring out their potential and capabilities making them more aware of their inner feelings, belief systems to become a more conscious, whole or healthy human being”.

I know that probably seems like a mouthful but it seemed to encompass my own thoughts about what personal development is. I decided to ask my partner to offer a definition:

“Strategies that enable me to enhance my life in all areas”

Now I do like this definition because it says what it is, simply and succinctly. The thing about personal development, is that it means different things to different people. When someone embarks on the journey of personal development, it maybe that they have chosen to improve their health, relationships, career prospects, finances etc. Sometime people talk about the mind, body and spirit, or physical, emotional and spiritual.

So how do you get started on the road to personal development? Well, first of all become aware of what you already have in your life and what you are grateful for and then think about what is missing, what do you want, I mean really want. Awareness has to come first, because without an awareness there can be no conscious decision to take action. Becoming aware also means asking yourself different questions and then seeking out the answers. So if your question is “There must be more to life than this?” your mind is already making an assumption that there is more to life and as if by magic you start to see things around you that maybe you did not notice before.

Below I have put together my top 10 strategies that I use regularly to keep myself motivated. As a bonus I contacted some of my friends within the personal development field and asked them to give me their top 3 personal development books and created a top 10 list. I hope this helps you to get started.

1. Take time everyday to do something for yourself. This is so fundamental. Many people go through their day giving of themselves to other people, their job etc. and don’t have time for themselves. Even if you give yourself 15 minutes, that is time with yourself to reflect and focus on the most important person in your life, YOU.

2. Read or listen to personal development material. You must find time to learn about personal development to read or listen to positive and inspirational messages. You could use the 15 minutes put by for yourself to read a chapter of a book. If you drive, put in a tape or CD, this is making use of net (no extra time) time.

3. Decide what you really want to do and do it. Often we think about what we want to do and make excuses as to why we can’t do it. The reality is that the time we have taken to think up excuses as to why we can’t do something, we could have done it. What have you been putting off doing? Take this opportunity to do it, clear out the clutter. Once you have done it there is space in your mind to think about other things.

4. Do not be afraid of making a mistake. You will only achieve success from doing. In history many brilliant ideas have come about because of a mistake. Don’t let fear of failure stop you from doing what you want.

5. Do not put off making a decision because you are afraid it may be the wrong one. Nothing is gained by sitting on the fence. So the sooner you make a decision, even if it is the wrong one, the sooner you can make the right one. Practise being decisive.

6. Keep a journal recording your thoughts, ideas, feelings and personal growth. Keeping a journal is a great way of measuring your progress. Looking back at your journey. It is also a great source of material for any projects you hope to do in the future. If one of your dreams is to write a book, why not start with jotting down ideas in a journal.

7. Be flexible and willing to change your approach if things are not working. Sometimes when you set your mind to do something, with a set plan, things don’t always go smoothly. Remember that as long as you are clear about your destination, you can always change your route, it may take you longer, but as long as you get there in the end.

8. Visualise your goals on a daily basis. Better still put up pictures of your goals so that you can see them on waking up and going to bed. Our minds respond better to pictures than words.

9. Get yourself and elastic band and put it around your wrist. Make sure it fits loosely. Every time you find yourself thinking a negative thought pull the elastic band and let go so that it snaps back onto your wrist. Yes, it will hurt. That is the whole idea. Keep this up for the next 30 days and notice what happens.

10. Celebrate your achievements. Award yourself for any progress that you make because you deserve it.

Sonia is a Personal Development and Success Consultant. She has been involved in the personal development industry for over 20 years primarily in the public sector. When you visit her website be sure to download the free Confidence Building ecourse and sign up for her success strategies and tools newsletter.

Sonia Harris © 2007

Personal Development and Success Coach



Russell

Cliff Mee asked:


In order for a relationship to work and stand the trials and tribulations that come with love, it is important for a few expectations and goals to be set. When goals are created in a relationship, the chances of surviving a long-lasting relationship are pretty high.

Building trust and understanding that lasts a lifetime is great way to achieve the level of satisfaction one would expect in a relationship. This is where goals become an important part of the process. And it’s not just one person setting goals and following them - relationships are a two-way street where happiness falls on the shoulders of both parties involved.

Also, it is important to let all goals be known because all too often, relationships fall apart when one partner is desperately trying to achieve a goal that their significant other shows no interest or compassion for. Usually, these goals serve a better purpose when they are established at the beginning of a relationship.

Sometimes, this is rather hard to accomplish since so many couples fall head over heels with one another before truly exploring their desires, goals, dreams and even sometimes character and personality. When you don’t set goals that both individuals are willing to accept or put forth an honest effort, the relationship will most likely fail within a couple of years. Setting goals play quite an important role in the affairs of Cupid, don’t you think?

Usually, married folk or seriously involved partners are able to stick with one another for the long haul when setting personal plans and goals that each agree on. And don’t think these relationship goals are unbreakable. As time passes in a relationship, it is a good idea to conduct frequent assessments and evaluations of couple progress.

This is because various factors, such as career changes, babies and moving in with one another seem to shake up the dynamic that was established before the change. It is always good to stay on top of the changing wants and needs of your partner and, sometimes, this means reestablishing and setting new goals for the future. Make sure at some point you either vocalize your new goals or write them down so that neither one of you are left in the dark.

It is these sorts of surprises that have a habit of tearing couples apart. So, if you plan to move to Alaska for a new job in two years, you better let your girlfriend know before making solid plans. You may find yourself on your own if the situation isn’t discussed together. If you recently decided you no longer want kids with your husband who has always wanted two or three, you should discuss this subject on the double because it seriously affects the future the two of you will have with one another.

Relationship Goal Setting Do’s and Don’ts

1) Do show support in all of the things your partner tries to do and express your opinions instead of holding them inside.

2) Do keep the lines of communication open and active on a daily basis.

3) Don’t smother your partner and always assess the dependency each of you hold for one another.

4) Do express your concerns regarding intimacy.

5) Don’t hide your feelings of dissatisfaction - the buildup will only worsen, which can lead to multiple fights and unhappy times in the future.

6) Do think towards to future and assess whether you can see yourself with your mate for the rest of your life.

7) Do respect the feelings and rights that your partner has in the relationship. Don’t become overbearing.

Do help your significant other to grow and progress in life.

9) Don’t ever let the fun fizzle out of your relationship. Do keep an open mind and try new things.

10) Do keep an open mind when it comes to solving problems you and your partner may experience. You always have to allow the other to explain his or her version.

Also, don’t let problems build up in a relationship. It is important to express all of your feelings in order to achieve the relationship goals you have set with your partner.



Terry